Humbleness and Forgiveness

    I have been going through some things lately and I think I am learning some very important lessons. We all know that when we are going through things that hurt we hate it at the time but there is always an opportunity to learn and grow from it. I always hate it when people tell me that at the time but I know that they are right. I just don't want to hear about it when I'm in the middle of it.

    I have been learning a lot about friendship. I think that the three greatest tools needed to be a great friend are Love, Humbleness, and Forgiveness. They all go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. You don't truly love someone if you consider yourself better than them or if you can't forgive a wrong that they did to you. Also it's impossible to really be humble to people if you don't love them. It all is this circle and if one of the parts get's messed up then it can affect the whole.

    I think that it's really important for us to look at the people that we are closest to. Look at the relationships that we are currently in and honestly take the state of those relationships. It kind of looks like this for me. I look at the people that I am closest to. How am I interacting with them? Am I letting little things eat away at me and allowing myself to build up resentment towards them? If I truly love them then how can I resent them? I am not saying that we are going to agree with everything that they say or do but we should never carry stuff against those closest to us. We can confront them and let them know that whatever it was pissed us off but then we need to let things go. If you are not willing to forgive someone for something that they did to us wither it was intentional or unintentional then really are not being a true friend to them. We are basically telling them that we are better than they are and we don't need to forgive them. If no one in the world forgave each other for the stupid stuff that we all do then the world would be a very lonely place.

    That whole thing carries over into being humble. I cannot have an attitude with my friends that I am better than them in any way. When you are in a relationship with someone you make a pact with them to be equals. I will give you parts of me and in return you will also give me parts of you. But when you start to consider that the parts you gave them are more important than the parts they gave you that puts you on uneven footing. Then you start to get this sense of entitlement that basically you deserve this and that from those people. That is no way that you can love someone like that. It's like you almost love them because you feel like you have to take care of them. Bad thing is that with that kind of attitude pretty soon the only person we will have left to take care of will be ourselves because no one will want to be around us. It's also hard to forgive someone when you think of yourself as better than them. They should be the people begging you for forgiveness; you shouldn't have to offer it to them. I know that I have been guilty of that in the past and honestly it makes me very disappointed in myself to think about it now.

    The hardest part about the whole thing though is that these things usually are in your face kinds of things. They usually brew under the surface for awhile and you don't see them coming out until it's too late. It's not like you just freak out one day and alienate all your friends. It's something that happens slowly over time and it just eats away at a great relationship. That is why I have kind of made a promise to myself to try and take an account of the status of my relationships more often. That and really start to check myself and see where my head is at. If you don't notice it and aren't looking for it then it will come up behind you and mess up things that are truly meant to be a blessing in your life.

    I guess the main thing I want to say is take a look at those that are closest to you. See if you are really honoring those relationships with Love, Humbleness, and Forgiveness. It is a contagious thing to love people and I believe that it's probably one of the most rewarding things anyone can do with their life. Especially to those who love you back and are willing to give as much as they receive. Tell those around you that you love them and if there are things that you feel like you are holding on to then just let them go and love. It's rough but I think if more people did that then our relationships and our world would be a better place.