Only Time Will Tell

    I have always known what I wanted to do. I have always known that I wanted to inspire and influence people to be able to have type of life that would make them feel more complete. There has been different ways that I thought I would accomplish this from preaching to doing hip hop music. I always knew that I would do something that would have an impact on our culture. I thought I knew how that was going to happen and I thought that I knew the people that would be involved with it. Lately it's seemed that the more that I thought I knew it really turns out that I knew nothing. I don't know what is going to happen right now. The fire is still there and I am still striving to make a contribution to this world. I am just not sure what the grand scheme is looking like.

    To be honest it's kind of a scary but at same time very freeing place to be. I have an album that is almost done but have no idea how I am going to pay for it or how to put it out. I have a book that I have written that is done but I have no idea how to publish it. I have so many things inside of me that I know people need to hear but I have no idea how to share them. I am a very driven person. At times I am probably too driven and I lose my sense of balance in the process. Right now I am not able to get things out of line. I have to wait and pray for the opportunities to show up to move forward in these dreams. I am learning that I can't just make it happen on my own or to expect anyone else to make it happen for it. It's only going to happen when the time is right and everything is in order. I am being forced to just wait on God and wait on other events to happen. It is a good thing though because it gives me time to work on my family and work on myself to make sure that everything is in order before things go nuts.

    I still believe that I will someday achieve my goals. Everything else that is associated with it though I have no idea how it is going to happen or when. All I can do is keep working on myself and my art. That way when the time happens I will be ready to hit the ground running. If anything that I have learned in this process is to not get discouraged. We might think we have everything under control and that we know how things are going to work out but the truth is we have no idea. There are always things that are outside of our control. Instead of getting frustrated or feeling hurt about it the best thing to do is keep our eyes looking upward and our feet moving forward. Eventually all will happen as it will. We just have to be prepared to walk through the door when it's open.